Grasshopper Pie x 2

Summer – it just screams pie, right? The call is too loud to disregard, clean eating efforts be damned. My excuse is, when I make a pie and take it somewhere, at least it won’t be in the house so that I am tempted to eat the whole thing. Plus, the purchasing of bizarre, mystery liqueurs to make a dessert is half the fun! Take it to a party and make other people eat it! Yeah, that’s the ticket…

There are many versions of Grasshopper Pie (including one made with ice cream which I did not try), but I naturally gravitated first to one made with Jell-O, my eternal love – that most versatile of sugary powders. I will share it with you, but I warn you – it’s not the best. It is entirely too sweet, and It has to be mixed with Cool Whip, for heaven’s sake. Yuck! Why did I think *that* would taste good? Cool Whip – something I had only heard about until I began recreating vintage recipes for this blog, something I didn’t even know where to find in the grocery store. (Tip: you find it in the freezer section. And it’s strangely weightless. And tastes of chemicals.) Still, this is the first version of the pie that I made, so here is the recipe, from 1988’s “Jell-O: Fun and Fabulous Recipes”. Yeah, some are more fabulous than others…

Looked great, but too sweet. Plus, shame on me for not making my own pie crust!

Next, I turned to a more trustworthy source, my Betty Crocker Cookbook from 1969. Thank you Betty for relying on the old stand-by, melted marshmallows, to create the filling in the pie! And remarkably, other than the marshmallows, Oreos and food coloring, this version of grasshopper pie is made with actual real ingredients – things I know! That are not highly processed! I had a good feeling about this.

First: the crushing of the Oreo cookies to make the crust. Yes, you could use chocolate wafers but I was making this pie for a party at my Dad’s, and the local store didn’t have the right kind. So, crush up Oreos (Fun! Place them in a plastic bag and go to town with a meat tenderizer! BANG!), then mix with ¼ cup melted butter, form in the pie dish and bake for 20 min, then chill.

The only thing tricky about this pie is that there are several steps and each one requires

chilling before and/or after. It doesn’t take long to put together, but the overall time will be a few hours  because of chill time. So plan to, you know, chill, between steps.

I succumbed to lure of green food coloring, essentially because it is an amusing novelty to prepare food that is green, but honestly you don’t need it – the crème de menthe provides a green tint. And speaking of food that is green, after these two pies, my next experiment was with another green pie, featuring a secret ingredient that provided the color and consistency: avocado! However, that is a story for another time. Spoiler: it is NOT something I will be making again. I’m kind of thinking of going back to fruit pies…

"The Best"? DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. This is a lie. Sorry...

Poppy Seed Cake

Tasty even with no frosting! 

Do you ever crave a taste from childhood that you just can’t find anywhere? For me, it’s my mother’s poppy seed cake, and I found it in the adorable “Hasty Lady Cookbook” from BEST YEAR EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND, 1971 – thank you, League of Women Voters of Illinois!

My favorite cookbook ever in terms of format. I love 1971!

Now I know you’re thinking, but Carrie, you’re always saying you don’t use mixes and packaged foods are gross – and you’re right. But there are times when you’ve got to eat that foot that’s in your mouth if you want to eat cake. So there you are.

Don't you love how I have the organic eggs to offset the cake mix?

This cake calls for cake mix and Jell-O pudding mix (Hah! My one processed food go-to, Jell-O! My eternal love!) and then some pantry staples, including “Butter-flavored oil” – WHAT THE HECK? I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is and I don’t want to know what that is. Let’s just go with vegetable oil, how ‘bout. Oh and cream sherry – is just a nicer quality than “cooking sherry” which, if you’ve talked to any chef, isn’t good enough to clean the toilet with anyway.

Going into the oven - soon it will smell REALLY GOOD!

Finally, this cake is nice and moist even with no glaze, though the glaze is a nice touch. If you want to make it look fancy and French-ify it, shake some powdered sugar over the top with a sieve and stick a sprig of mint or edible flower next to the cake et voila, nobody knows it came from a mix! Enjoy.

Poppy Seed Cake

1 pkg (18.5 oz) yellow cake mix

1 pkg (3.75 oz) instant vanilla pudding mix

4 eggs

1 cup sour cream

½ cup butter-flavored oil

½ cup cream sherry

1/3 cup poppy seeds

Combine all ingredients, stirring to blend. Beat at medium speed of electric mixer for 5 minutes, or 700 strokes (!!!) by hand. Scrape sides of bowl frequently.

Pour into greased 10 inch bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Cool in pan for 15 minutes; turn out on wire rack. Cool

If desired, glaze with thin confectioners’ icing flavored with cream sherry.

Lemonade (Silver Palate)

I don’t think I even need to repeat the adage about what to do if life gives you lemons, because in this case it was my boss who gave them to me! He actually has a very productive tree right here in San Francisco, and I am overjoyed when he brings me bags of lemons, especially today because I had a bake sale / fundraiser for my daughter’s school (Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy in the Castro) and so I volunteered to bring lemonade. Good thing, too, because it was a rare hot day in the city and we drank that up like there was no tomorrow!

Here we are in San Francisco's lovely Dolores Park where we raised nearly $200 to send the 4th graders to camp, yay!

This lemonade is the best you will ever taste, hands down. Don’t even bother with any other recipes. Just don’t. My mom taught me this one, from her (and now my) favorite cookbook of all time, The Silver Palate Cookbook - the 1982 masterwork from Sheila Lukins and Julee Rosso, and I guarantee you will have people exclaiming in the street that it is the best thing they have ever tasted. 

The only thing I ever adjust is the tartness. I love it very very tart, but when I make it for kids I do add more sugar. And you want to use super-fine (Baker’s Sugar) because it dissolves so easily. Get some lemons and get happy!

 My daughter ladling out cups for thirsty park goers. Isn't she proud!

I always add some cut up lemons for looks, especially when using an (otherwise un-chic) industrial vat.

Quick Chocolate Cake

I love cake. OHMYGOD do I love cake. And I'll be honest, this is not the best cake ever, but when you just WANT CAKE (and come on, we all know there are times when nothing will do but cake!), this is FAST and YUMMY. Why buy a mix when you can literally throw things into the baking dish itself, bake for 20 minutes, and then happily scald your tongue on home-made cake? I couldn’t say.

Susan Katz’s brilliant 1978 “Just Desserts – Fast but Fancy” is one of my favorites. She has so many ideas that I would like to quit my day job to cook each and every one of them… well, I can dream, right? She even has a chapter entitled Desserts for Dinner. (She has also written a book called “100 ways to use yogurt besides eating it out of a container” – LOVE her to death!). When the sudden NEED FOR CAKE struck me, I turned to her and she did not disappoint.

This recipe – better than cake mix, I swear – is fun in that you mix it right in the baking dish. Seriously people, you are going to have cake SOON, and barely any dishes to wash! GET ON THIS! Even kids can do it, in fact it is perfect for them. Don’t have a mixer? Or are you just lazy? Who cares. YOU can make cake.

The only trick is that she’s not kidding when she says “There must be no delay in baking after adding vinegar” because that will activate the baking soda, and if not baked right away, the cake won’t rise. So be sure to have all your ingredients out in advance. This is as good a way to reinforce the practice of mise-en-place if I ever knew one! There: justification for baking cake: to teach yourself the importance of proper kitchen prep. (Not that you needed any justification.... )

 Dump in the ingredients!

 Mix well - and get into the oven IMMEDIATELY once the vinegar is stirred in!

You can frost this cake with just about anything, or heat up a nice glaze of chocolate, butter and a little grand marnier, or perhaps whisey and black cherries…. Possibilities are endless. You’re welcome.