Unicorn Frappuccino Hack #pinterestfail

The Unicorn Frappuccino. Business analysts call the drink's creation "stunt marketing" but Starbucks calls it "flavor-changing, color-changing, totally not made-up" and describes the flavor as "magical" starting off "sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour." Meanwhile, lovable culinary snark Anthony Bourdain called it the "perfect nexus of awfulness" but unless you've been under a rock the past month, you've seen or heard about it. Perhaps you even tried one, like I did with a mico-sample at my local crack dealer's Starbucks:

Sample Size. A good place to stop. 

And what does it taste like? SUGAR. Sugar-flavored sugar that tastes vaguely of mango, in fun colors that was available for a short time only, is 100% Instagram-worthy, and will give you street cred with middle schoolers. So, basically, a win for Starbucks and "diabetes in a cup" according to health experts, parents and sane people everywhere. Clearly I lost my sanity when I tried it: they say that the taste of sugar induces our brains to seek more sugar, so I decided to make my own at home. Yeah... because if I made it, it would somehow not be a bucket of cold iced shiny sugar mess? Well, not if I made it exclusively with ingredients available at my favorite health food store, San Francisco's venerable Rainbow Grocery! 

Yes, I took my tween daughter to get one and Instagrammed it, what. 

 

Semi-healthy ingredients mostly from the health food store. I should point out that my cost was significantly higher than the cost of the actual drinks, though due to their scarcity, it was my only option as the drinks were discontinued the day before. According to my calculations, two drinks made at home cost approximately $38, while the drink retailed for just under $5. Hmmmm...

ANYWAY

For the "Frappuccino" I blended frozen mango, Greek yogurt, a bit of vanilla ice cream, and coconut water. I tried using grenadine to color it pink, but that had seemingly no effect, so I resorted to red (natural! No red #5 thankyouverymuch) food color, and had to use the whole package ($2) to get even a slight pink. BUT IT WAS PINK! I skipped the cranberries, worrying about texture, and let the yogurt provide the slight tartness we tasted in the original. I added agave syrup to sweeten it, but I am sure mine was nowhere NEAR as sweet as the original (59 g of sugar).

The procedure was rather messy, and required numerous elements of my "Ninja Mega Kitchen System" (OK I just like to say that aloud in my best NASCAR voice! Don't you do that too?) and I pulled several things out of the fridge that were not planned. This was truly an experiment, not a tested recipe. So, I might need to do it again...

You'll note in the original, there is a blue drizzle around the inside of the cup... I tried to recreate this with blended blueberries. They didn't get blue enough or thick enough, so I added a bit of vanilla ice cream, as well as blue food coloring. 

AND OMG here it is! In fact the most disappointing element was the Soy Whip, which did not set up the way conventional whipped-cream-in-a-can does, so the top of the cup is sadly empty, but we did sprinkle it with blue sugar crystals in an effort to recreate the neon blue "fairy powder" of the original.... After laughing for about 5 minutes straight, and referring to the hilarious Instagram account @pinterest_fails we tried it, and you know what? It was GOOD! 

OK maybe not quite as good, colorful or thick as the original...

But I did it! 

#Ihackedtheunicornfrap

The Trident’s Special Health Shake

I was overjoyed to receive this amazing 1973 McCalls recipe box as a gift, and even more-so when I found a card from my dad’s all-time FAVORITE restaurant, The Trident, in Sausalito, CA. We’ve been going there lately for father’s day (it is now called Horizons, but thankfully the Way-Out interior remains the same) but my parents had been going there since 1965 when they had their wedding rings custom-made by a local artist and needed lunch. Honestly, from the outside it looks like a boat shop, but inside, it is a late 60s psychedelic wonderland!

In the early 70s, my dad (and the nation!) got really into the Health Food thing (which was nothing new to my mom, since her folks had gotten into it in the 40s) and he began making, and experimenting with different versions of, Health Drinks. I loved them, and quickly learned to make them myself, following whatever new adaptation he was using at the time - except I think I skipped the raw-egg phase that arrived courtesy of the whole weight-lifting / macho trend. His original recipe is still something I make today, and I enclose his recipe here as the epitome of what has since become knows as a “smoothie”.

And so in honor of my dad, for father’s day, I made The Trident’s Special Health Shake, and I noticed the massive similarity between the two recipes. Was this coincidence? Had my dad dined at The Trident often enough to memorize the recipe? Or could it perhaps be that everyone and their entire extended family was making these very same things across the nation at that time, while wearing Adidas tack suits and driving Le Cars? Either way, you too can get into the “health food thing” of yester-year (no Kombucha yet, folks!) with a few fruits, some wheat germ and your trusty blender. Vroooooom!


The Trident’s Special Health Shake


1 cup crushed ice
1 cup yogurt
¼ cup honey
2 Tbsp raw sugar
1 Tbsp wheat germ
½ cup fresh strawberries sliced or ½ pkg (10 oz size) frozen sliced strawberries, thawed
½ cup cut up fresh papaya (if available)
1 cup cut up cantaloupe
Fresh mint leaves

1. In blender, combine half of al lingredients and blend until smooth. Turn into chilled pitcher.
2. Blend remainder of ingredients and add to pitcher. To serve, pour into chilled glasses. Garnish with mint.
Makes 8 servings.
Note: If desired, use more strawberries to give a brighter pink color. If fresh strawberries are too tart, add sugar to taste.

Carrie’s Note: I omitted the sugar because it was plenty sweet enough!


Jack’s Health Drink

½ cup frozen berries (est 6 strawberries)
Cover with fruit juice (cranberry preferred)
¼ cup water for 1 cup liquid in all
2 Tbsp vanilla or plain yogurt
1 banana
* blend
2 heaping Tbsp protein powder
1 Tbsp wheat germ
* blend
2 Tbsp honey
* serves 1 or 2